All products are not created equal...

Today I want to talk about lubes. OK so I've only done like three, but still... four? What? Oh yes... the monkey in my head tells me they use KY at the 'office' from hell... yes, to us ladies, that's the Gynecologist. To you lucky men, the place where a dude (or a woman) gets to look at our bits and hmmm...

ANYWAY... the lubes like KY are useless. So overhyped but last all of five seconds, not enough to get you through the exam, let alone any type of intercourse... ugh...

There's others, the generics that just sting...and last less... I'm not counting those...

There's something called Wet that some people like but I meh'ed at. Then there's Jo, your best friend in silicone disguise... he's good in the shower, not so good in the bedroom. W hat happened? I raved and raved... then he disappointed me... go figure...typical man... And the water version is not much better...but they give you more of it for less... now I know why...

Moving right along... here I'm going to find the perfect lube... you'll see... some gay man will come up with ass grease, I bet. Which would be great... if I were using it for that purpose... noooootttttt.... I think you can get better creativity than some product called ass grease...

Well, this turned out to be short but don't worry, I'll add more later. :)

Cross Dressers are the bomb!

So I get asked sometimes if I like cross dressers. The answer is yes, if they're hot. Well that, my friends, is for the whole eye of the beholder deal, right? But I can't say I have a type other than pretty. I like pretty boys, pretty girls, pretty boys who look like girls, pretty girls who sometimes look like boys, I like all kinds of things! But I'm not bisexual all the way through. I'm what I call, the visual bisexual. I don't care which sex you are as long as you're hot.
That doesn't mean I'll go to bed with you. It means I'll drool over you.

Just yesterday my boyfriend said something to me and I didn't hear a word because some pretty chick walked by so I had to apologise and ask him to say it again. Now I can't remember what he said but I remember the pretty chick's face. sad, I know... Sorry Chris, if you read this... not that you're not that important, it's just that well... she was pretty...and you're always around... (*mental note to buy flowers and reeses peanut butter eggs to get myself out of the dog house because no matter what I'm saying it still sound so wrong...!)

But going back to Cross Dressers... the reason I like them is because some out there are so f ing HOT as women it's ridiculous! And I do like my surprises... Not all of them, some surprises are bad... like finding out your husband was a cheater... (fortunately, don't have to worry about that right now.)

But thinking you're talking to a hot chick and then find out that under those panties is a little extra spice? Well, that's exciting for a girl like me... A girl who's a bit of a nut... I'm rare, I understand... most people (men and women) think CD's are strange aliens who have the plague or something...

But if you're a freak, as I am, or always felt I was, being among CD's is not a big deal. I relish in the differences. I love gay men. They're usually very pretty. I've been told I AM a gay man. I haven't resisted the label. I have drooled and fallen in love with many a gay men...more than I care to speak about...so maybe the whole CD thing is just me, getting my gay men fix, but with a possibility for something extra. Although I admit, many a CD are also gay men... Some go into being TG's (transgenders.) I was in love, for a while, with the idea of she males...but well they're just halfway TG's and all I've known are gay men anyway...or straight women, depending on how you want to look at it. I have yet to meet a she male who wants to be with a girl...I'm sure I'll run into one eventually. Nothing's impossible anymore. The dude from the Disney's Alice in Wonderland was absolutely right. So I won't say anything anymore.

Another reason for liking cross dressers is they can wear all the sh I can't. frilly dresses, pretty lingerie, hot as hell heels, all that jazz... I'm a tomboy. I can't look good in any of that stuff and heels hurt and I'm a woos for that kind of pain. So I figure, I can still go shopping but I don't have to wear it.

But do I NEED my guy to be cross dresser? No, of course not. It makes life interesting but by no means is it necessary. So don't worry, Chris, you aren't going to be asked to be cross dresser. I wonder if that makes up for the distracted moment? I somehow don't think so...

Anyway there you go, that's the long answer to this simple question. I like freaks. All kinds of freaks. I may think some are stranger than others but I feel at home. When you run around with freaks, you have more fun.

Nothing worse than an uptight too serious guy to kill your mood...

And I guess that answers the other question... my guy's not a freak, exactly, he's funny as hell and goofy... We're dorks, we're nerds, and we're too strange to be normal for anyone...and that's OK. That's why we like each other...Maybe I'm wrong... maybe he IS a freak, but a mild one... either which way, I love that about him. It's true what they say, a guy that makes a girl laugh is hers forever. :) And it's also true that a way to a man's heart is through her stomach... yes, her... because remember, I'm a gay man too... ;)

I'm not transgendering anytime soon... I like my girl parts... I like my gay man parts (the brain) so I'm not changing anything there. I wanted to explain myself to the world because it's 2AM and I had to speak. I should sleep...tomorrow is another day for a different blog.

Enjoy the silence...never let me down...precious. (all Depeche Mode songs that fit.)

Samsung Instinct HD - um... yeah... about that...

I went to sprint to get a new phone b/c AT&T was being a pain in the ass. (what company isn't?)

So I got the HD Instinct thinking it will be some fabulous deal! CNET sure thinks so...

I open it expecting, I don't know, rainbows and butterflies... instead I get roaches and wilted dreams.

Oh sure, it's wide, it's pretty, it's functional... try to make a call and you're in trouble. Try to text and that's even worse. UNLESS of course you have teeny weeny fingers who are always super heated. But no, this thing isn't made for normal people... I don't know HOW men use it, if they do, b/c my fingers are small and I STILL hit two keys... a guy with normal fingers would probably hit three! OK maybe I'm exaggerating. My boyfriend had issues using the thing...

I am a facebook addict, some say... (ahem...) And I have to re-log in several times a day because god forbid you're on facebook and someone calls/texts/voice mails you. You get kicked out of the internet, the program, the world... and even if you dismiss it, you STILL have to relog in...

So I go back to Best Buy where I got the stupid thing, only to be told it was discontinued... OF COURSE it was!! People probably bitched about it too and best buy said, fuck it. Well I'm about to do the same... now, my next quest shall be the HTC Hero... Maybe... because last time I thought I was getting a hero I got something not even worthy of food...let alone that name.

Or maybe I'll go retro and get some old thing... because god knows new technology seems to have gotten stupid... heat sensitive touch screens? Hello...some of us have NAILS... or cold fingers... Oy... what ARE these people thinking... Oh right.. .not thinking...

Well, I'm outtie for now... Thanks for listening to the rant, as usual.

But if your'e shopping for aphone...don't get this thing....seriously... I can only guess CNET got paid off b/c no way they should be giving it THAT high of an award when it sucks this badly.