Mistakes we make when trying to find love...

I'm sure I've made them and I know they've been made to me. Some of these are online things but can be applied to real life too, I think.

1. When attracting someone...let's not go overboard. Number one killer for me? I love you. Now that sounds strange because most girls LOVE hearing it... but come on, I just met you...ONLINE even... and you love me? Yeah...next!

2. I can't live without you! God you make me so happy! Um... what? OK again, you just met me...

Being highly emotional might be normal for some people but for me it throws a fire alarm in my head. I don't ever get that emotional. That doesn't mean I'm a dead fish, far from it, but I am a lot more cautious about people who throw words around. Hence my number 1 killer...

3. You'd think my number one online killer is "I want to f*ck you." But it isn't. I have been getting that statement/question/request/whatever since I first found myself online some decades ago... Back in 1982 I found a thing called Mosaic. Back then it was a bunch of computer geeks hiding in their basements for hours and hours... A female to them was like an open refrigerator to a bunch of ants. I was swarmed. So while requests like this annoy me, I've gotten used to the attention. I ignore it. I'm glad I've never made THIS mistake... last I checked I've never asked anyone to do anything sexual to me. lol. :) (Well, online...)

4. Moving too fast and not paying attention you're freaking the other person out. There's the over emotional person, which I tend to distrust. Then there's the guy that wants to know that "if things go well" where are we spending the night types. Excuse me? Who said I was giving you anything at all?! Last I checked, there was no ring on my finger buddy!

5. What about the one that on the first date has your lives planned out for you. Yikes... Now I know women do this one for sure.

I don't, because I don't even have my dinner figured out but I know lots of women have these hopes and dreams of guys and what's supposed to happen and god forbid if the guy doesn't comply.

(record scratch!)

And no, just because it's our third doesn't mean you get to name the children... slow down!

6. Being too clingy or suffocating. Yup, I did this one. I've had it done to me. Not fun. Give people space but not so much they forget you. What that is, depends on the other person. Talk to me once a month and I'll forget you for sure. Talk to me every five mins, I'll WANT to forget you. In other words, don't crowd anyone, it's not sexy.

This is one of those delicate balances. Go too fast, you scare people...too slow and you bore them...

7. Listen to what people tell you. I make this mistake, I think I know, but I don't... It's hard not to jump to conclusions...or do the yeah buts... or if only I/he/she/it...or well it's this way now but later...

What if later never happens? And this is more relationship oriented but think about it... can you live with those quirks if they NEVER change? If you can't let them go now and forever hold your peace. Don't make people pay for YOUR disappointment. If he was a smoker when you met him, don't think you'll change him... assume he'll always smoke. Now for me, that's a hell to the no. I can't handle smokers. We can be friends but you ain't bring that sh home to me... no way.

OK I'm done for now... I'm sure I'll have more things later... I'm one Cat who can't seem to shut up... lol. :)